Parenting isn’t easy! And every parent is striving to make decisions in the best interest of their child. However, it is very important to know that there is no “one fits all” parenting style which is considered to be the best.
Raising children is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. It’s time to erase ‘how to be the perfect parent’ from your google search history because there’s no such thing as a perfect parent.
(Shocking, I know!)
The bad news is that you may not be that flawless parent that people aspire to be like. The good news is, you don’t have to be! Children don’t need perfection from their parents. What they need is someone who accepts them with their imperfections, empathizes and is understanding towards them.
Giving your kids a good start in life means indirectly taming all of your future generations. Just imagine not just your children, but their children, and even theirs..all self-disciplined, respectful, happy and compassionate people; making the world a better place. That too, just because of you!
Remember: good parents don’t have to be perfect. They only need to be SMART. You can get the best parenting tips at
Only a few careful considerations can help you raise your child right. Here are 5 tips on parenting a child smartly and helping you build a home with fewer tantrums and more love:
1. Become a role model
Children are very observant and learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are the more likely it is for them to adapt your behavior. Before you lash out and bite someone’s head off, think about this: is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Your children’s’ experiences will reflect greatly on their actions in the future.
You have to walk the walk. Don’t just tell your children what to do, show them. Model traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. It’s not easy but it’s doable. So before anything, it’s important for you as a parent to manage your emotions first. If you can’t do that then you can’t expect your child to learn to manage theirs. It’s not always easy when you’re angry so here are a few mantras to keep in mind:
- My child is acting like a child because he/she is a child
- I’m the role model
- This too shall pass!
The key is to understand that you have to “Be the person you want your child to be!”
2. Make time for your kids
It can become difficult for parents and kids to get together for dinner, let alone spend quality time together. And, there’s probably nothing kids would like more. Find ways to spend a little extra time with your child, be it just 5 minutes in the morning, before they head off to school. Often when children aren’t getting the attention they want from their parents they begin to misbehave and throw tantrums in an attempt to get noticed.
It can be rewarding to schedule time together with your kids. Take out some time in the week and dedicate it to them. Let them decide what to do and divert your full attention to them. Find other ways to stay connected – put a note in their lunch box or drop a text message.
Spending more time with your child will help create a stronger bond. As a result, they’re more likely to be open and honest with you.
3. Communicate No Matter What!
Most of us have heard that “communication is the key to a successful relationship.” And it’s true. The same goes for the relationship between you and your child. You can’t expect your child to do everything simply because you, “say so.” Just like adults, children also want and deserve an explanation. By keeping an open line of communication, you’re more likely to have a better relationship with your child.
It’s important to let your child know that you are there for them and that you are listening. Make your expectations clear. If there is an issue then talk to them about it, express your feelings. By including them in your daily life they are more likely to see the value of including you in their life.
If your baby has not yet started to speak, you can look for cues and understand what your baby is trying to communicate.
4. Set Limits and First, Discipline Yourself!
Children who are raised without limits often fail to practice self – discipline. As a result, they’re often inconsiderate towards others and lack self-control. They may test those limits (actually they will most definitely test those limits) but they need to be put in place to help them grow into responsible adults.
BUT. And this is a big BUT – if the limits are inflicted in a way that provokes opposition (“don’t you talk to me this way, young man!”) then children are less likely to listen and accept the limitations as children don’t respond well to harsh or unfair instructions. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t correct their behavior, you absolutely should, but it should be done in a way that appeals to your child and also conveys your message, for example, “I didn’t like the way you spoke to me, I would like an apology.” And well, take it from there.
Having a pattern in place can be helpful: one warning, followed by consequences such as doing extra chores or “time out.” It’s important you explain to your child why they are being reprimanded so they learn from their mistakes and avoid in the future. A common mistake that parents make is not being consistent with the consequences. There’s no use in disciplining your child for talking back one day and ignoring it the next. Being consistent is key.
5. Remember Your Own Limitations and Needs as a Parent
Let’s face it – parenting is not a walk in the park.
It’s important to keep realistic expectations for yourself, your partner and also your children. Everyone is walking at a different pace and learning as they go along. You don’t need to have all the answers to your child care questions.
We can’t all be Albert Einstein after all *sigh*
So, be forgiving of yourself.
Admit it when you’re tired, we all need some time out once in a while. Take some time out from parenting and do the things that you love that make you happy. Parenting requires you to manage your emotions and that’s why it’s important you pay attention to your well – being.
Cutting everything short, parenting a child is never easy! Especially when you are a first time parent. Doing it the right way won’t get you a medal however yes, it will reward you in the form of your children raised right!
Start TODAY. If you need a beginners guide, sign up at Abudo’s online course on Childcare!