Self-sabotaging thoughts are more common than most of us realize. Self-sabotage is like one of those creepers that take over avenue of our lives. Including the most pivotal ones. We often engage in self-destructive behaviors that become habits over time. The behaviors that bring us down constantly undermine our success and happiness without us realizing it.  If left unaddressed, self-sabotage becomes a major mental health issue; holding one back from achieving goals. 

WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE? 

We want to achieve something, but somehow we never get at it. 

Ever wondered why even trying to achieve it becomes a challenge? 

Well, Because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal. This is Self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is when we do something that gets in the way of our intent, or of our bigger dreams and goals. 

What Causes Self Sabotaging Behavior?

Your subconscious probably sees self-sabotaging behavior as self-preservation; a way to safeguard and defend yourself, even if it’s no longer needed. Some of our self-sabotaging behavior is so subtle it’s easy to miss. We often fail to recognize how our actions are hurting ourselves. We don’t see how our disorganization distracts us, or how we’re constantly overthinking all of our decisions, leaving us practically paralyzed with inaction. We don’t realize that our reactions to situations end up causing bigger problems in the long run.

Self-sabotage involves behaviors or thoughts that keep you away from what you desire most in life. It’s that internal sentiment that tells us “you can’t do this.” Self-sabotage occurs when your logical, conscious mind is not in coordination with your subconscious mind. The miscoordination leads to self-sabotage habits like:

  • Procrastination. Instead of tackling an important project in a timely manner, you allow yourself to dawdle to the last minute. It’s hard to shine when you don’t give yourself time to fix mistakes or do a thorough job. Start setting deadlines and mini-deadlines to work toward your objective
  • Negative self-talk/negative Thinking. Your inner dialogue is constantly critical. Are you chastising yourself for past mistakes? Are you constantly criticizing yourself? Be patient with yourself; be kind to yourself. Work to build yourself up.
  • Perfectionism. You tell yourself you can’t take action until the right time, or believe you need to perfect your skills before you move forward. These are forms of self-sabotage. Perfection is an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward.

To overcome the habits is crucial to one’s well being. 

How To Exercise Power-of-Mind To Overcome Self-Sabotage? 

Often, self-destructive and self-sabotaging behavior or habits are rooted in our feelings of self-worth. We don’t feel like we deserve to be successful. We’re plagued with feelings of inadequacy, even when you’re trying to overcompensate by setting high goals for yourself. 

In such cases and others, working on identifying and acknowledging what is causing you to sabotage yourself become the highest priority. Starting with that, here are the 5 ways to overcome self-sabotaging thoughts:

# 1: Take Time for Self-reflection:

It takes serious self-reflection to understand why you keep shooting yourself in the foot in the first place or never overcome self-sabotaging behavior. Taking the time to peel back the issues you seem to be inflicting on yourself can lead to a deeper awareness, as well as give you insights into yourself and your underlying motivations and desires.

The most successful people are those who take the time to think through their choices, decisions and actions. Successful people learn from what worked or failed to work. They then adjust their course of action by taking a different approach. Only through self-reflection will you gain the necessary insight, perspective and understanding to begin the process of change and transformation.

# 2: Find Your Inner Positive Voice:

Fear is often at the root of what holds us back. We fear that our inner critical voice is right. We start to worry that we don’t deserve happiness, aren’t tough enough or simply don’t have it in us. It’s time to put aside those harsh inner voices of “I can’t” or “I’m a failure.”

That negative internal dialogue is a pattern of self-limiting thoughts. Start replacing that critical inner voice with positive, encouraging thoughts.

Once you start seeing the areas and ways in which you are limiting yourself, you can start effectively countering that behavior. You can choose to not engage in self-sabotaging behavior. You can start building positive behavior and create an affirmative, confident voice to guide you.

# 3: Change Your Pattern of Behavior.

Changing our negative behaviors is fundamental if we are to put an end to self-sabotaging behavior. In every moment, we’re taking action that either moves us toward or away from the person we want to be and the life we want to have. The behaviors you keep permitting yourself to do are the ones that are keeping you from what you most desire.

Consider how the actions you’re taking and the thoughts you’re thinking conflict with your happiness and hold you back from your true potential. Then look for ways to replace old patterns with new ones that are more helpful in achieving your goals.

At first, we may need to learn to change our behavior by avoiding certain triggers such as negative people or challenging circumstances that cause us to react in unfavorable ways. If there is a stressful situation that triggers you to react in a negative way, look for ways to bypass or deflect while you learn healthy ways of handling the situation.

# 4: Make Small, Meaningful Changes.

Once you’ve identified the changes you want to make, pick just one thing that you want to work on. Don’t try to make grand, sweeping changes all at once. That’s not realistic, and those huge alterations will be hard to maintain and easily given up. Instead, begin by making small, meaningful changes that you’ll slowly build to create larger transformations in your life.

If you realize you self-sabotaging behavior is hindering your success by constantly missing deadlines, not following through with leads or simply being disorganized, take a step back and look for one small, meaningful change that you can make to set you on a more successful course.

If you’re disorganized, depressed or constantly getting off track from what you should be doing, take five minutes every morning to tidy up your desk and write a to-do list. If you’re missing deadlines, sit down and come up with a reasonable timeline to get your project done. Then take steps to meet those goals, so you accomplish your objectives and build self-confidence.

# 5: FINALLY, Set Goals and Make Plans.

We often struggle with self-sabotaging behavior when we don’t know what to expect. The unknown can make us feel off-kilter and on unsure footing. Instead of moving forward with confidence, we respond to situations negatively. We allow ourselves to crumble, and then we retreat, feeling incompetent and incapable.

The best way to counter this is to lay down solid plans and goals for the future. By having firm, thoughtful plans for each step we take, we will feel more confident about our intentions and what we’re doing. You can do this on a daily level — thinking through how you’ll respond to situations, people and circumstances.

By doing all this, you can take control of your life and banish self-sabotaging behavior.

Here’s Your Key Takeaway:

It’s easy to fall in the loop of self-sabotaging behavior when you’re trying to meet an important goal, like developing healthier habits, getting assignments done on time, saving money, managing weight, or building healthy relationships. 

However, when it comes to overcoming self-sabotage, one size doesn’t fit all. 

Yup. That’s right!

The solution differs depending on your kind of self-sabotaging behavior. Getting enough rest and not taking on too much can help you think more clearly and make better choices. Understanding the roots of your fears of intimacy and rejection and taking small steps towards more closeness can help in the relationship arena. And taking more responsibility for planning and motivating yourself and adopting a growth mindset can help with procrastination at work.

Nonetheless, believing in yourself is KEY. 

So know your worth and STOP self-destruction TODAY. 

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